Maybe today…I won’t be a control freak.

Well hello and great afternoon. Today I find myself back on the systematic schedule that allows my life to stay in the center.  I know it sounds boring, but I have one of those personalities that if not properly planned can spin out of control due to it’s own centrifugal force.  There’s a ride called the Gravitron. You can usually find it in those small fairs that travel the cities.  You walk into a UFO looking thing and strap yourself against the wall.  Anyway, having a basic daily system allows me to stick in the middle and not have to strap myself against the wall. This somehow leads me to today’s topic.

Today’s Topic:  Maybe today…I won’t be a control freak.

It’s a negative connotation to most when you put the words control and freak together.  But for me it is a badge of honor. There are numerous reasons why I am a control freak but that is neither here nor there because the bottom line is that I enjoy being a control freak. However, as a desire to find balance so that I can experience more moments of pure and untainted happiness I want to find ways to “go with the flow.”  Now let’s begin by explaining that my deepest belief is that using such a lax method in any circumstance is completely illogical. Especially if it is completely rational to plan every aspect of the situation.  However, I have come to understand that planning every moment really limits the amount of truly mysterious and magical experience that you can only have by mistake. So with that in mind I have to realize that I will never not be a control freak, but with much practice I can pretend that I’m not and mimic the motions of “going with the flow.” For now, it will have to work.  And that’s all for today.  Until next time.

Maybe Today

One of the things that I find amazing about myself is that my mind can spin with thoughts but when I reach out for one to expand the thought becomes intangible. Like a dream that seems so real that you can feel the weather on your skin, but when you awake it dissipates, first slowly then so quickly you don’t know if it was there at all.  That’s why I watch so much television, it allows my mind to wander but still have a fixed place to come back to.  So with that in mind I just came up with today’s topic, which, come to think of it should have probably come to me much easier.

Today’s Topic:  Maybe Today

It’s the name of the blog and I suppose before we go much further I should explain where it came from.  I suppose I can say that the title explains it all. Maybe today…I will leave the house.  Maybe today…I’ll finally come up with that one great idea.  Maybe today…nothing will change.  Maybe today…everything will make sense.  Maybe today…I’ll smile, cry, try something different, fight for a cause, find inspiration.  There is really no limit as to what the end of that particular sentence could be, and I guess that’s what I like about it.  Recently I’ve been pushing to start a new art project with toothpicks and foil candy wrappers along with little tiny mirrors.  I have no clue what I’m going to create but that’s how all my projects start in my mind. Then slowly as the natural controlling and planning parts of my mind go to work a project forms.  What’s funny is that by the time my plan is put into fruition at least one hundred aspects of the original thought changes.  I think that’s awesome.  But only in this aspect of my life.  If that were to happen with other aspects of my life like finances, child rearing etc. the end result would not be pretty.  So Maybe today I’ll start that project. Probably not, but I love having the option. Well my attention span has come to it’s end.  Until next time.

I’m flighty, but I won’t apologize.

Well hello, I’ll be honest I’m a little surprise that you have stopped by but since you have welcome to my Maybe Today blog. I have no clue what the intentions of this blog is or where the subject matter will begin or end on any given day. Let’s just say that it’s an experience in experiencing without the need for complete control. That means that I have no intention of planning them out, and sometimes I may not even choose to format. Why? Well why the hell not.  Everyone could probably use a little randomness every once in a while, right?

Today’s topic: Starting this blog.

I mean seriously what the hell am I really doing this for anyway.  This morning I had a conversation with my teenage daughter about how we as human’s look toward recognition as a need for personal happiness. Well I can’t honestly tell you if I’m doing this out of recognition or the need to jump back on the writing horse after a five year run of endless rejection.  I guess I’ll find out with the help of this blog, or maybe I’ll just blow it off like I do with most things. Yup, I’m admittedly flighty, but I won’t apologize for it.  Anyway back on track.  I’ve been thinking about this blog for a little while. Then after going through probably thousands of topics. None of them stuck. Instead, I figured that it would be nice to write without limitations, boundaries or obligations. And I guess that is all for now…until next time.